By Tamara Fyke
I have a suggestion that may sound a little radical: what if we stopped battling technology and instead embraced it? Rather than penalizing students for having phones in class, what if we allowed them—and taught students how to use them responsibly as learning tools?
I tested the idea with my college-aged son, who has almost completed his K–20 journey and knows a thing or two about being a student. After I explained my proposal, he paused and said, “It won’t work.”
“Why not?” I asked, convinced this could be the start of something useful.
He pointed out a simple problem: some students would spend the whole class on their phones and not engage with the lesson. “They won’t listen and learn,” he said.
I pushed back. “What if part of the reason kids overuse phones in school is because phones are treated as forbidden? We all know people sometimes want things more when they’re told they can’t have them.” He agreed, comparing it to alcohol: scarcity can increase desire.
“So what if we allowed phones and channeled that energy by asking students to solve class problems with their technology? In college and the workplace people use devices as tools, not distractions. Shouldn’t we teach students how to manage phone use rather than simply banning devices?” I asked.
He said it could work—if students knew how to use them well. “How do they learn that?” I asked. “At home, or by being taught,” he replied.
Our conversation quickly returned to a familiar truth: students, especially boys, act out or tune out when they are bored. If school work is unengaging, they will seek stimulation elsewhere. The question then becomes how to boost engagement and reduce problem behavior. One solution my son and I agreed on is offering students, beginning in middle school, the chance to choose a course of study based on their interests and strengths. Choice increases investment; investment increases attention.
From our discussion, I distilled two main takeaways for teachers and school leaders:
1. Teach social skills and clear norms for technology use. Respect and courtesy are not abstract concepts—students need concrete examples. Explain why certain behaviors matter. For instance, we wait until after checking out at a store to use our phones because we want to be respectful and present with the cashier and ensure an accurate transaction. In the classroom, model and rehearse appropriate phone behaviors. Simply telling students to pay attention because something will be on a test rarely motivates genuine learning; they will find shortcuts. Instead, help them see the value of listening and engaging because it leads to new understanding, personal growth, and the ability to make a difference.
2. Shift from control to coaching. Today’s students consume and interact with enormous amounts of information every day—for education, entertainment, and social connection. They play games, produce content, and use social platforms. As educators, our role is evolving. Rather than trying to tightly control every aspect of classroom life, we should act as facilitators and coaches, guiding students toward both mandated learning objectives and personal goals. This approach requires trust, flexibility, and a willingness to meet students where they are.
I know this vision may feel unconventional. But if our job is to prepare students for success now and in the future, schools should resemble collaborative, creative spaces—more like a coffee shop than a detention hall. When we partner with students, offering them autonomy, grace, and real opportunities to pursue their interests and aptitudes, engagement grows. Students respond to environments that value their ideas and give them room to develop purpose and competence.
Allowing technology in the classroom is not about lax rules or permissiveness. It’s about intentional instruction, clear expectations, and coaching students to use tools thoughtfully. If we teach social skills, model respectful phone use, and create learning pathways that align with student interests, we can reduce boredom, improve behavior, and prepare young people for the realities of higher education and the modern workplace.
About the Author
Tamara Fyke is an educator and creative entrepreneur passionate about children, families, and urban communities. She is the creator and author behind Love In A Big World, a program that equips K–8 educators with practical, research-informed social-emotional learning (SEL) curriculum and resources to help students develop emotional health, social competence, and a sense of purpose.
Tamara is also the editor of Building People: Social & Emotional Learning for Kids, Schools & Communities, a collection of perspectives on SEL for educators, parents, and leaders. She remains focused on empowering students to become emotionally healthy problem-solvers who contribute positively to their communities.