As noted in last month’s installment, conflict is an unavoidable element of school life. While strong leadership can prevent many disputes from escalating, some sources of conflict lie entirely outside a principal’s control. What principals can always control is how they respond to disagreement and discord.
Students are directly or indirectly involved in the vast majority of school-based conflicts, but parents and staff often play decisive roles in how those conflicts are resolved. Building productive working relationships with these two stakeholder groups is therefore a central responsibility of school leaders.
This article expands on conflict resolution strategies for principals by outlining practical considerations and approaches when dealing with parents and staff.
Conflict Involving Parents
Create Connections
Although resolving conflict is inherently reactive, principals can proactively establish conditions that make resolution more productive. Visibility and accessibility throughout the school year create natural opportunities for informal conversations with parents. These routine interactions build familiarity, comfort, and trust, and they make later difficult conversations easier to manage.
In short, who you are as a leader matters at least as much as what you do. Parents who have met and spoken with the principal informally are more likely to engage constructively when problems arise.
Recognize Timelines
Timing matters when students are involved in incidents. Calling a parent immediately with limited or unverified details can undermine a principal’s credibility. Waiting too long to reach out, however, can leave parents frantic or allow a student to reach home before the school has communicated, which often complicates the situation.
The best approach is ongoing, timely communication: notify parents promptly that an issue is being addressed, share confirmed facts as they become available, and avoid speculation. Aim to speak with parents before the student goes home to ensure the school’s account is heard first, and always frame discussions around observed facts rather than assumptions.
Establish Parameters
Depending on the seriousness of an incident, one or more meetings with parents and school leadership may be necessary. Principals must set clear expectations for those meetings so they are safe and respectful for everyone involved.
Model calm, welcoming behavior to establish productive meeting decorum. While parents may be emotional, shouting, abusive language, or threats should not be tolerated. If emotions are too high, postpone the meeting to a mutually agreed time. Parents may bring an advocate, and the student may be included for part of the discussion when appropriate. Conclude meetings with a clear, monitored plan of action and a timeline for follow-up.
Seek Resolution
When closing a conflict, principals should be both decisive and empathetic. Decisions must reflect a careful, fair investigation and be communicated with compassion, even if they are unpopular.
Parents and students must feel that outcomes are fair, transparent, and grounded in evidence. The way a principal handles stressful incidents will either strengthen or weaken trust between home and school. The principal’s enduring commitment should be the well-being and best interests of all students.
Conflict Involving Staff & Utilize Relationships
Strong professional relationships with staff are essential. These relationships rest on three pillars: communication, consistency, and accessibility. Staff need regular updates and clear expectations throughout the year. Unexpected surprises and sudden changes increase stress and erode confidence.
Principals should maintain a calm, predictable tone across the school and apply standards evenly. Everyone should feel that they can reach the principal easily when issues arise. When these pillars are in place, handling staff-related conflicts becomes far more manageable.
Demonstrate Support
One of the toughest balancing acts for any administrator is being genuinely supportive of staff while remaining fair and open-minded with students and parents. In contentious situations, a principal’s stance can be perceived as either unconditionally backing staff or capitulating to parental pressure.
During high-stakes conflict resolution, it is critical to be publicly supportive of the staff member involved, while also demonstrating fairness and firmness to students and families. If a staff member’s actions contributed to the incident, address those concerns privately and constructively later, focusing on improvement and professional growth.
Appreciate the Grapevine
Principals must recognize that private conversations often become public quickly. The staffroom functions as an informal network where information and misinformation spread fast. Staff watch closely during conflicts that involve administration and parents; they are especially attuned to whether leadership is supportive.
Use this informal network thoughtfully: discreetly reinforce priorities, expectations, and the school’s vision through routine conversations and visible support for staff. When handled well, the social grapevine can help cement a culture of trust and shared purpose.
About the authors
Jamie Bricker and Jack Barclay are retired school principals living near Toronto, Ontario. They co-host the Matters of Principal podcast and draw on decades of leadership experience to offer practical guidance for today’s school leaders.
This article was originally published by The Learning Counsel, a research institute and news outlet focused on the shift in education to digital curriculum.