By Tamara Fyke
Over the past year I’ve spoken with many educators—administrators, classroom teachers, and support staff—about social-emotional learning (SEL). Through these conversations my team and I sought to understand current practices and unmet needs. The most consistent request we heard was for greater adult capacity to deliver SEL: schools need confident, skilled adults who can model and teach social-emotional skills. Some districts have even delayed rolling out student SEL plans until they feel adult readiness is in place. My central question is whether these two priorities—equipping adults and implementing student SEL—can be pursued together. I believe they can, through a unified, schoolwide approach.
Because our work centers on children, the primary objective is always meeting their needs. When asked recently about the goals of my work, I summarized them simply: 1) Build strong relationships between caring adults and students; 2) Help children identify and express what they think and feel; 3) Teach character traits and SEL competencies so students can manage themselves and relate positively to others.
Relationships don’t develop in isolation. They require intentional, meaningful conversations that foster connection and trust. Those interactions are the practical settings in which SEL skills are practiced: naming emotions, listening actively, solving problems, and showing empathy. That is why any effective initiative must include goals for adults as well as students. Practical supports for adults include:
- Professional development: Engaging, interactive training led by SEL experts that builds adult knowledge and classroom-ready strategies.
- Ongoing coaching and support: Follow-up webinars, coaching calls, classroom observations, and brief SEL segments during staff meetings sustain growth and normalize reflective practice.
- Public recognition: Regular shout-outs on announcements and recognition at staff meetings affirm and motivate educators and support staff.
- Self-care encouragement: Reminders and resources that promote physical health, rest, and restorative hobbies help adults model well-being for students.
When schools set clear goals for both students and staff, they can build a genuine schoolwide SEL approach. Supporting teachers supports students, and supporting students strengthens teachers; the work is reciprocal.
In my experience there are two persistent trends that shape how SEL must be planned. First, an intense focus on data—especially standardized test scores—has often been used punitively rather than constructively. Instead of asking what the data reveal about a student’s strengths, needs, or context, systems sometimes use scores to punish or rank. To serve students better, data should inform supports and interventions that help people grow.
Second, the rise of educational technology has yielded useful tools and data, but can also increase student isolation. Screens can replace rich interactions; technology sometimes becomes a way to occupy students rather than to engage them in meaningful learning. When adults are consumed with fear about scores or compliance, it is harder for them to invest time in relationships and the social-emotional wellbeing of students.
Given these realities, how should school leaders act? First, administrators must clearly communicate that relationship-building and SEL are priorities. Staff should feel assured they will not be penalized for meeting a child’s basic needs before jumping into academic instruction—for example, providing food or clothing, or taking time to address a student’s distress so learning can follow.
Second, schools need an intentional plan to embed SEL in daily practice. Culture—what we do—shapes climate—how it feels. The aim of SEL is to create a culture in which every child and adult feels seen, known, and valued, where belonging is real and sustained.
Below are seven foundational steps to develop a unified, schoolwide SEL approach:
- Strong leadership and teacher buy-in: A caring principal listens, values staff input, and provides clear direction while preserving collaborative decision-making.
- Professional development: Initial training and ongoing coaching are essential to help teachers and staff implement SEL with fidelity.
- Kickoff event: A whole-school launch builds shared understanding of goals and signals community-wide commitment.
- Curriculum alignment: A common scope and sequence that integrates SEL with academics and the school day creates coherence and shared language.
- Reinforcement materials: Culturally relevant posters, music, and multimedia serve as daily reminders and reinforce learning.
- Family engagement: Providing resources and events for families extends SEL learning beyond school and reinforces consistency at home.
- Service learning: Community service projects let students apply SEL skills in authentic contexts and experience the power of contributing to others.
When administrators, teachers, students, and families work together, every stakeholder has the chance to strengthen SEL competencies. A unified schoolwide approach recognizes that adults and students are both learners in this process, and that meaningful, sustained change happens when we act together.
About the Author
Tamara Fyke is an educator and creative entrepreneur focused on children, families, and urban communities. She is the creator and brand manager of the Love In A Big World SEL curriculum, which equips K–8 educators with research-informed, practical resources to help students become socially competent, emotionally healthy problem-solvers. Tamara is also the editor of the book Building People: Social & Emotional Learning for Kids, Schools & Communities, which collects diverse perspectives on SEL for educators, parents, and leaders.
This article was originally published by The Learning Counsel, a research institute and news media hub focused on the shift in education toward digital curriculum and student-centered approaches.